Mid-40s software engineer with 25 years in tech. First layoff ever after rising to senior technical leadership in Big Tech.
tldr
- •high pay comes with brutal tradeoffs: odd hours, constant learning grind, missed family time
- •2008 crisis + "Your Money or Your Life" → frugality mindset, saved aggressively to buy freedom/time
- •voluntarily topped the layoff list to protect junior colleagues
- •colleague died from stress-related heart issue, was quickly forgotten at work - life is fragile
- •layoff feels like a "wilderness" phase: confused, anxious, but also a wake-up call
the highs
- •mastering software, innovation, patents, global travel
- •smart/talented colleagues, camaraderie
- •six-figure comp most of career, "insane" Big Tech RSUs in final ~7 years
the downsides
- •brutal hours (global timezones), constant learning grind (harder in mid-40s)
- •building repetitive/low-impact features that don't solve real problems
- •heavy sacrifice of family time - minimal evenings with kids, missing son growing up
- •tragic stories: colleague's stress-related death, wife's recent health crisis
the layoff
- •macro pressures: interest rates, offshoring, AI reducing need for US staff
- •repeated rounds of cuts - volunteered to protect junior team members
- •company handled it decently: warning period to job hunt, good severance
what now
- •disorienting "wilderness" - no fixed path after predictable career track
- •feeling confused, anxious, but also excited
- •vlogging to process thoughts and help others in similar situations
- •goal: build a more balanced, healthy, meaningful life post-tech grind
overall tone
Honest, introspective, bittersweet. Grateful for the ride and financial cushion, but questioning if the sacrifices were worth it. No bitterness toward company - more a wake-up to life's finite time.