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    The Unhinged World of Tech in 2026

    2025-01-14

    Fireship's satirical, hype-filled prediction roundup for 2026. Classic Code Report sarcasm: future is shiny, broken, and billionaire-making... for now.

    tldr

    • software engineering jobs still exist and growing (BLS predicts 15% through 2034)
    • AI coding tools create more "code janitor" cleanup work rather than full replacement
    • AI bubble not popped yet - LLMs plateaued (GPT-5 disappointed) but hype continues
    • massive IPO wave coming (OpenAI, Anthropic, SpaceX?) → peak hype signal
    • quantum computing making real progress - could dwarf AI bubble when practical apps hit

    software engineering jobs

    • BLS predicts 15% growth through 2034
    • AI creates "code janitor" work - cleanup, not replacement
    • H-1B visa fee hike ($100k) makes overseas hiring harder → good for domestic engineers

    ai bubble status

    • not popped yet, more years of irrational valuations ahead
    • LLMs plateaued - GPT-5 disappointed
    • expect massive IPO wave in 2026 (OpenAI, Anthropic, SpaceX)
    • IPOs = peak hype signal

    humanoid robots

    • big year: 1X Neo taking orders for home chores
    • Figure/Tesla Optimus pushing factory use
    • still tele-operated and clunky
    • assembly lines ramping up thanks to Nvidia/Google tech

    wearable ai / ar-vr

    • flops like Rabbit/Humane
    • OpenAI + Jony Ive wearable rumored
    • Nike battery-powered jumping shoes
    • AR/VR (Vision Pro flop, Meta push) stays niche/unprofitable

    chips & infrastructure

    • winners: Nvidia, ARM, TSMC raking in AI profits
    • Intel saved by US gov stake (Trump era)
    • cloud power crunch → nuclear resurgence
    • small modular reactors (Oklo, Zuckerberg deal)

    quantum computing

    • real progress: Google's Willow + quantum echoes algorithm
    • beats supercomputers on verifiable tasks
    • US/China race heating up
    • could dwarf AI bubble when practical apps hit

    javascript & web dev

    • Node supports TypeScript natively
    • Deno + Bun improving (Bun adds Postgres/Redis)
    • React still dominates, compiler stable → sucks less
    • new framework to watch: Ripple

    dystopian bits

    • Europe pushing digital IDs + CBDCs (digital euro pilot 2027)
    • AI killing jobs in spreadsheets/management/design/Stack Overflow